Finding the one

Nope it’s not always rosey and it definitely does not happen the way we expect it to happen. In my opinion, finding the one should never be about the hunt but it should start with some self-discovery, knowing you more than anyone else. Self-discovery and acceptance is very hard and a continuous journey. You don’t only find it if and when you’re single but it can also be found in your relationships with others.

Well my self-discovery journey began in my previous relationship; I honestly didn’t know I was going through a phase of self-discovery at the time. I was in a happy and loving relationship, tested a few times but came out on top most of those times. I learnt that not all relationships you get into are meant to last forever, no matter how great they are or how great your partner is.

Some people come into our lives to help us realise some truth about ourselves, when the job is done thorns grow on that beautiful flower, we start to try too hard to hold on but the thorns keep pricking us, yep it is time to let go. Problem is we never let go, we make silly excuses and try so very hard to make an uncomfortable situation comfortable for us. Not knowing that yes a relationship will go through problems which are meant to make you two grow as a couple but it should never be too hard to be in one, you should never feel drained 80% of the time or alone when you’re with someone. I would use that to sit back and look at the situation, dig deep within myself and ask all the hard questions.

Yes it will hurt like crazy, and if you do decide to let go it will take some time to rid yourself of the feelings you felt for that person. But at the end of the day you need to be happy and if the relationship is not fulfilling that purpose of making you happy you need to let it go. You might think that was it, but there is always better ahead.

NO, don’t go looking for it or forcing it onto others, focus on you and what makes you happy. The thing is, if you know yourself, if you know what brings you joy it makes it easier to spot right from wrong. You’ll know your worth and you won’t settle for mediocre. This thing is supposed to be effortless; it should not feel like you’re pushing a mountain, yes climbing a hill every now and then maybe.

The universe is always listening; it somehow conspires and brings things or people who are aligned to those things that bring you us. It is not always packaged the way you expect it to, most of the time it comes as a surprise a beautiful surprise. But you need to keep in mind that if it does not feel right or you feel like you’re bringing more to the table than your partner, your journey might not be at its final stages yet.

Well with all that said let’s forget about the destination and focus on the journey, we tend to ruin things with our expectations. Work with what you have and leave everything else to God, if it’s not right He’ll bring out the thorns trust me ;)

How I met my husband…

2010 World Cup final, is when I met him. A friend of mine was invited to view the world cup final at one of her guy friend’s place, we were bored, we had no plans so why not?

At this friend’s place while I was chilling on the coach, minding my own business, playing some PS2 with one of my girls a guy arrives, introduces himself to my friends and before he could say anything to me I somehow recognised his face. Well, I did what anyone who sees someone they think they’ve seen before would do, I said to him “You look very familiar, haven’t I seen you before?” And his obvious answer was, nope he didn’t think so. Those were my first words to him, and till this day he thinks I was hitting on him, like really (no really he looked familiar, maybe I did know him – from my future lol.

Well sometime during that night we chilled together, had a great chat – which we both don’t remember what it consisted of. He was working that night, transporting tourists who had come to our country for the world cup final. He said his good byes, yes we exchanged numbers he was very charming and polite and I was being ‘nice’ I didn’t want to disappoint a potential friend besides, we really clicked. He left and I stayed behind and had a big jol with my friends, he later called to ask how I’d be getting home and I being my forward self responded by saying uhmmm with you lol. He came back all the way from Sandton just to take me home, he’s very sweet and I had charmed his socks off haha.

We dropped off all my friends at their place and well, we took a nice drive to my place where we chilled outside the gate in his car for about 2 hours talking about, uhmmmm no idea but the conversation was so good, I did not want him to leave and so did he. After some time his phone rang, yep most good things do come to an end, he had to go pick up his people so he left.

We stayed in touch, as friends. We spoke a lot and even though I was in a good relationship I enjoyed my conversations with him more than I would with anyone else, thinking about it now as much I’d convinced myself that we were only friends, I was probably emotionally cheating on my then boyfriend with him.

Oh well, a couple of months later (in Jan 2011) we dated, then break-up lol (complicated story) he was told to never contact me again but somehow in the midst of all the drama we found each other again and promised to never ever let ago. That’s the story of how I met and got to jol with the Mr of my Mrs, my best friend, lover and number one supporter. Never have I ever met and dated such an amazing man, and one thing I love about being in a relationship with him, is how I can be no one but myself with him. He has stood by my side through the hardest times of my life. My own little angel on earth, God does really exist.

Below is a picture of the first day we met in July 2010 and below that one is a picture of the first trip we went on as an official couple in December 2011 :)